Muse

I struggle to make sense of things
since my mind discovered your lips,
and your intrepid fingertips.

I write in verses what I feel
watching my pens run out of ink
letting my heart slowly sink.

It's hard to find the perfect tune
to express how much I need you,
how lucky I was to meet you.

Whenever you can't sleep at night
I want you to re-read these lines
and travel back to better times.

When I think of the years ahead
I wonder what other words we'll share
written in letters filled with care.

Tears and sex

from my eyes
to your bare chest
teardrops play a rhythm
the saddest song ever heard
a slow melody
as heartache and pleasure fuse.
our bodies, intertwined,
tasting salt in fluid
wet eyes
drenched bodies
melt together
flowing
and I cry
as I near climax
drowning into culmination.

Sense tu

com vols que em pugui imaginar 
un llit sense el teu cos
una casa sense la teva olor
una vida sense tu.

Pero cada mati m'esforço
a intentar sortir del llit 
on hi ha el teu cos.

I cada tarda desitjo
marxar de casa
per sentir olors noves.

I cada nit intento oblidar
tot el que deixaré de fer
compartint la vida amb tu.

Before I go

Here's some things I'd like to share
Just to make sure you're aware
So bear with me, I'll do my best
Let me get this off my chest.

I won't be around anymore
Nothing will be as before
I will soon leave your side,
but hey, it was a nice ride.

I will not leave you tonight
until I know you'll be alright
so promise that you'll take care
that you'll be happy anywhere.

Promise me that you'll be free
and do your best to forget me,
that looking back won't cause you pain,
that you'll learn to love again.

Don't let your smile fade away
even when running through the rain
escaping from your monsters
pushing through your pain.

When your fear screams louder than your hope
Don't let it control your future
Look outside for something you love
Look inside for something to nurture.

Friend

I just needed a friend
Just someone to talk to
Something to feel again
Just a rope to hold on to.

I just needed a kind of friend
that would make me fall in love
someone who could understand
everything I ever dreamed of.

I would persuade my friend
only for twenty four hours
just to prove it to them 
how our strengths would tower.

I wanted the kind of friend
you write love poems to
when part of it's just pretend
but then it starts to feel true.

I needed you as a friend
when I was the most alone
when everything was a dead end
you held me in the winter cold.

2020

You showed me how much I value hugs,
and how I missed out on them
trying to appear independent and tough.

I thought I'd never miss going to bars
the smell of closed space and ethanol
but you made me want what I couldn't have.

You taught me that I should take care of my friends,
laugh with those that I love most
because I won't know when I'll see them again.

You made getting out of bed a challenge
when I hadn't seen anyone in days
and was remote-working in pajamas.

I learned how to deal with not doing great
when there were things outside my control
and had to chin up and look straight.

You made me worry about my parents more
give them all the love they deserve
and call them a lot more than before.

You showed me that I like to think, reflect, and grow,
surrounded by beautiful people
who make me smile even on a zoom call.

You taught me that I have to dance more
that I feel better when I let my body go,
and I don't need a teacher or a dance floor.

You changed me, in so many different ways
you made me realised what I didn't dare to do
because I was busy being afraid.

Dear 2020, what a fucking ride
you taught me a lot of things
almost as many as you denied.

f u c k

fuck this
fuck you
fuck me
fuck me
for trying to be better
for trying to save us
for trying to bring 
something better into our lives.

Fuck me for telling you 
how to generate endorphins
how to surround yourself with nature
and love the small things in life.

Fuck you for not liking any of me
my clothes, my mind, my voice,
or any of the things you get for free,
that I put so much effort in.

You did not like me 
when I told you  that we were enough
that we didn't need anything else.
You said you needed someone to help you grow.

And you do not like me 
when I tell you that I'm not enough
that I need to grow and be better
and that I need us to be more.

You say I am too intense
and you need someone more laid back
who can teach you to enjoy life,
who won't stress you out.

Maybe we're not meant
to be anything else
and this is the end of what we lived
because I am done.

so
fucking
tired.

Of living with someone 
who always complains
and never ever gives
and only hates
whatever he gets.

Share yourself

Why not share your darkest secrets
with those who dare look inside?
Say what's on your mind,
reveal your uniqueness.

I know you feel uncertain,
you're afraid to show your tears.
Before confronting your fears
you hide behind a curtain.

You tag it as introversion
never daring to share a thought
and I wonder what's the upshot
why withhold such a beautiful person.

Like a dragon guarding its treasure,
every idea a piece of gold,
concealing it from the world, 
depriving us all from the pleasure.

You push everyone away
until you deem someone worthy
someone with whom you won't worry
and will stop being afraid.

You're embarassed by what you feel
but only you can live so intensely
since you experienced it directly,
and only by sharing it you'll heal.

Someone will read your words
and see their own reflection
in what you labeled imperfection,
from the curvatures of your oes.

You need others to grow
trust friends, build an alliance,
receive both love and guidance
and don't forget to take it slow.

Beauty is not defined by perfection
you'll also find it in a voice that is broken,
between the typos of an honest poem,
or inside every show of affection.