Amarte

Amarte es quererte
Libre
Amarte es desearte
Feliz
Amarte es tenerte
Contenta
Amarte es besarte
sin fin.

We don’t move on from grief

You will never be in the past tense
Even when I move away
From the places we called home.

You will never be in the past tense
When it has been over a year
or I have found love once more.

You will never be in the past tense,
while I'm out drinking with friends
and I no longer feel alone.

You will never be in the past tense
when tears fill my eyes
and I blink trying to let go

Time tends to erase our past
so you will always be "is"
and never ever "was".


Inspired by Nora McInerny's TED talk on grief

Paddle boat

I had a swing at you with the paddle,
and you splashed into the blue
no cork or wood to hang on to
nothing to help you reach shore.

I wish I hadn't done that
but really you gave me no choice,
you were sabotaging my sailing
by drilling holes in my hull.

Every time you said you would stop
and to prove that you were trying
you swapped your drills for matchsticks
that is not something worth dying.

So my sneaky little passenger
all rides were sweeter with you
but we'll have more chance of survival
if we don´t share this boat anymore.

Las ganas que tengo

Tu no sabes las ganas que tengo
de correr a buscarte
y gritarte que no tiene sentido
que durmamos solos esta noche,
que nada tiene más sentido que tu y yo
que hoy no quiero a nadie más que ti
y mañana ya dejaremos a la vida seguir

27

Vint-i-set a set dies
i no estic millor que abans
somniava d'altres vides
l'últim cop que vaig fer anys.

Vint-i-set sense abraçades,
sense amor, sense petons,
un altre any a batzegades,
de regals, només mitjons.

Vint-i-set i amb més preguntes
l'àvia vol un casament,
vint-i-set, plena de dubtes,
no sé qui sóc en aquest moment.

Vint-i-set i a dins diluvia,
no em puc aixoplugar,
sóc més gran, però no més sàvia:
només em sé equivocar.

Vint-i-set i hi ha rialles,
i somric per fer el paper,
hi ha dies que res falla,
i segueixo no estant bé.

anxious

It's so hard to breathe,
my body damp in cold sweat,
the room is shrinking

What the future holds

Will there be a time
when I hold your hands in mine
either as lover or as friend
or has this come to an end?

How it hurts not to know
where will this story go
standing by, unloved,
holding on to something unsolved.

When the fuck will covid end


I understand every restriction,
every need for isolation,
the need to sit and wait,
the high infection rate.

I get that I can't fly home,
that it's normal to feel alone,
that I can't leave if I wanted to
that I don't get to hug or touch you.

I read all the lockdown plans,
the need for vaccine rollouts,
just holding on a little longer
waiting will make me stronger.

I am still trying to hold on
while everyone else has moved on.
I'm dealing with panic attacks
instead of accepting the facts

I am not able to accept this,
there are so many things I miss,
I just wait around doing nothing
and this letargy is crushing.

When the fuck will covid end
I just want to hug a friend,
fly home or take a break,
stop feeling my heart ache.

Frozen ice

If I had known how dangerous it was
I would have never 
swam 
in frozen ice,
but I wanted to feel
the sweet warmth 
of death's embrace.

Chocolate cake

Whenever I get
a tiny piece of you,
I always crave
a tiny bit more.

I dosify you
unwillingly,
controlling myself
to be good.

I want to give in
and engulf you,
so that you'd stop
tempting me.

But you're too good
to be devoured:
you deserve to be enjoyed
bit by bit.